My Black Brick

Pictured above is Swedish deputy Prime Minister Maud Olofsson at yesterdays announcement of the sale of Volvo cars to the Chinese company Geely.

“Regardless of who owns Volvo Cars, its brand will still be Swedish.”

Unlike some Volvophiles, I couldn’t care less who owns the company. People are going to start hooting and hollering about this sale now that the rumors have been confirmed, but does it really matter? The important question is “Does the car suck or not?”

Critics, including Consumer Reports, have complained that the quality of Volvo cars has suffered since Ford purchased it in 1999. Is quality really going to get a whole lot worse now that it’s owned by Geely? Or is that just a xenophobic reaction about the supposed inferiority of Chinese workmanship?

Who defines a corporation’s product anyway? The nation that owns the company? The nation that originated the company? The nation where the cars are built? The nation where the cars are driven? Why is a Toyota that’s built in the US still a Japanese car, while a Volvo or Saab that’s owned by an American or Chinese company is still a Swedish car?

The idea of a nationally branded car is quaint. When Ford bought Volvo the brand ceased to “be Swedish,” whatever that means. It became just another commodity in a global marketplace that gets parts contracted out to companies all over the world but has the imprimatur of a corporate board and an aura constructed by the branding wizards of the marketing department.

According to a memo leaked to Jalopnik, the Volvo V70 will not be offered in North America after 2010. And while the V50 will still be available, its time may be numbered. That means the name “Volvo” may no longer be synonymous with “station wagon.”

I remember checking out the NY Auto show 4 or 5 years ago and being surprised that there was no V70 on display. I guess they had started the process of phasing it out back then. I was told that the XC70 was just like the V70, but, I’m sorry, it’s not. I don’t count the XC70 as a wagon, and Jalopnik agrees. However, Volvo execs feel that “the personality of the XC70 is a good fit for today’s lifestyles.” To which commenter chathamh responds:

If the current product lineup of most manufacturers was an accurate reflection of American lifestyles, most Americans would spend their free time fording creeks, hauling trailers, powering through snow drifts and traversing miles of unpaved mountain trails.

Today’s manufacturers, at least for cars in the US market, don’t understand that not everyone wants to have to choose between a vanilla mid-sized sedan and a blinged out monster truck. I’ve purchased 2 cars in my life, a 745t and my current 245. What brought me to Volvo wasn’t their “personality”. It was the fact that they made really nice station wagons, vehicles that had great carrying capacity, had a relatively low center of gravity and drove like cars. Europeans understand this. In my visits to Germany and France I’m always impressed that they had such beautiful, sleek wagons. They understand that you can increase carrying capacity without raising the vehicle sky-high, tacking on knobby tires and forcing the driver to sit upright. That’s why Volvo will still be making the V70 for the European market.

This news from Volvo goes hand-in-hand with what’s happened to Subaru’s once sexy Legacy wagon. They dropped it a few years ago in favor of the Outback, and then they converted the Outback into a bloated crossover SUV. Someone in my neighborhood just got one of these abominations and I shudder every time I walk by it. Doesn’t Subaru already litter our aesthetic landscape enough with the Tribeca? How is the Outback any different?

Jalopnik posted a heart-warming eulogy to the Volvo wagon, a historic look back at the rise and sudden fall of the iconic boxy brick. RIP.

PS. I hope to wake up tomorrow and find this was all a horrible nightmare. Or maybe I should just get a life, because I’m not in the market for a new car anyway, and I’ll probably drive my precious 245 into my grave!

Turns out John Stewart’s brick was a 1979 240 DL with over 300K. See more in the update.

Apparently the movie “Motherhood” opened last October in theaters in the US, but it’s making the news now because it only made about $115 on its opening weekend in the UK a few weeks ago. That includes the sale of ONE ticket on the Sunday of its premier.

From the trailer it looks like we have yet another case of a typecast blue beater brick. Uma Thurman is a mommy blogger (as is my wife) who lives in an inexpensive apartment in an expensive urban neighborhood (like my family) and the movie chronicles a day in her life where she prepares for her daughter’s 6th birthday (like my daughter had on Thursday), deals with her hapless husband (played by my doppelganger Anthony Edwards), and struggles to find a space to park her brick (which I do on a regular basis).

According to the website there’s a “battle for a parking space during an epic alternate side parking showdown.” Don’t know if it’s with that hot rod Camaro in the frame grab above.

I found a couple weird photos of the car taken by the dog trainer. The first one shows Uma’s puppy sitting in the passenger seat while the other has the film crew gathered around the car preparing to shoot a scene.

It sounds like the blue beater gets good screen time as the trailer shows it in the background in a bunch of shots. I’m guessing it’s another symbolic stand in for the main character; a tough, grizzled veteran with a heart of gold. Considering the movies reception in London, however, I don’t think I’ll bother renting it to find out.

I finally added up all my expenses for the brick for 2009 and got a good view how much its cost over the span of 4 years. This doesn’t include gas or insurance, which is incredibly low for NJ at $800 a year. Here’s the numbers:

READ MORE…

Best. Movie. Credits. Ever. I like how they roll their cars over the Citroen DS. I bet you could do the same thing on a Mercedes CLS.

via things magazine

Don’t have enough room in the trunk of your crusty Impala? Time for a slick conversion. American ingenuity at its finest.

Via thereifixedit.com

Run, don’t walk, to Eberhard Thiesen Automobile Raritaten to pickup the sweet Roos Engineering Aston Martin Lagonda shooting break conversion. It’s a steal at only $270k. Sure, it ain’t a DB9, but with all that room in the boot you’ll be able to carry plenty of cases of Busch Light from Costco, and do it in style. Act now, supplies are limited to… one.

via Daddytypes

Truth About Cars finds a space in his heart for older cars that new cars just don’t make.

An old car that is well kept through the years shows a level of loyalty and priority that is rare in this day and age. I always enjoy meeting these folks in my travels and should I pick up their car at a sale, I make sure they end up in a good home.

One of the benefits of working at MTV was the free music. Every few months someone in the music department would throw a bunch of promotional CDs in a box and leave it in the hallway for us to pickover. I managed to pick up music from The Used, Mastodon, Coheed & Cambria and Death Cab for Cutie. The premiere EP for Ok Go was an enjoyable listen, and had the cool cover above. Of course, they’ve gone on to make some ground breaking videos, becoming the masters of the one-shot mini film.