Category Archives: Worldwide Wagons

A Touch of Europe at a Chevrolet Price

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There’s a used bookstore in Maryland I’ve been frequenting on trips down 95 and last week I scored Brock Yate’s “The Decline and Fall of the American Automobile Industry“. Having read some of Yates crotchety screens in the Wall Street Journal I figured I’d at least get something entertaining and I haven’t been disappointed. The book documents the trumpeted launch and immediate failure of General Motors J-car line from 1981. He talks of the insular “Detroit Mind” which produced a car that was supposed to compete with the European and Japanese imports but wound up being just another anemic, ill-fitting American rustbucket, albeit with a smaller wheelbase than usual. Yates was at least 20 years ahead in outlining the reasons for the eventual bankruptcy of GM. His book is an indictment of the 50’s and 60’s organization men who rose to the lofty heights of American hubris but didn’t have the creativity or foresight to redirect their giant multinational corporations to produce high-performance, reliable cars at the end of the 20th century.

The ad above is for the Chevrolet Celebrity Eurosport, built on the J-car base in the mid 80’s. The transparent grandiosity of the name of the car is comical. “Celebrity”? I suppose I could be famous if I drove one around, but not for the reasons GM is touting. “Eurosport”? Let me guess: it’s designed to compete with Mercedes/BMW/Volvo? Their ad company should have been fired for cramming 6’6″ Ken Howard, who played a basketball coach on TV’s “White Shadow”, into the drivers seat and having his head continually rub against the roof liner. When I’m looking to not-fit into a car to drive slowly across vast expanses of highly polished studio floors I’ll head straight for the Chevy dealer.

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The Euro package came with mammoth 14″ alloy rims, V6 power, sport handling and black and red-lined trim and badges that look more appropriate as a logo for the latest Nightmare on Elm Street than on a domestic car. I love it.

Bonus: This article in Popular Science takes the odd position of testing America’s “Eurosedans” against themselves, instead of the European high-performance cars they obviously strive to be.

Australian Panel Vans

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While contemplating tinting the back windows of my brick a friend told me that if I only did the back windows, without also doing the rear passenger windows, the car would look like a panel truck. It reminded me of the sweet family wagon Mel Gibson drove in the first Mad Max movie. My memory must have failed me because it wasn’t a wagon at all. In Australia in the early 70’s manufacturers like Holden made panel vans. They were 2 door El Camino-esque trucks with a cap on the back. Unlike 3rd party caps these were well integrated into the body and formed a big, covered, often windowless rear end.

Gimme a Break (Brake)?

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Mecedes Benz will be premiering a new shooting brake concept this week in Beijing. Which raises a couple of questions: When does a station wagon turn into a “Brake“? And is it “Brake” or “Break”?

According to the Times,  “the brake body style…in strictest terms is a coupe with a squared-off back.” That slick vehicle pictured above doesn’t look like it started from a  coupe, unless you buy into the Daimler marketing-speak that refers to the base  CLS as a 4 door coupe.

As for the second question, it depends on which side of the English Channel you reside. In England it’s “Brake”, in France it’s “Break”. I’m guessing in the US it’ll be offered in gray, while in the UK it’ll be grey.

The Checker Motors Aerobus

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It’s Checker Motors Appreciation Week over at Truth About Cars and they’ve triggered some bad flashbacks of Mr T and the Barbarian Brothers in 1993’s DC Cab. I didn’t realize Checker Motors made wagons, but I’m sure they worked great for cabs.

The 8-door Aerobus pictured above seems dropped in from another planet, however. Before there were Hummer H3 limos driving kids to their prom at the Jersey Shore, there was the Checker Motors Aerobus driving around vacation resorts and large airports. Unlike a limousine, the extended wheelbase Aerobus had forward facing bench seats, which is why it needed so many damn doors.

The Checker Aerobus Resource has some awesome pics of reader rides as well as a list of specs. Built from 1966 to 1974, this beast ran on a 200 hp 350ci V8. There were 6 door and 8 door versions built, with the 8 door having a 12 passenger capacity and a curb weight of 4905 lbs.

aerobus-stretchAs if the original wasn’t long enough, this dude dropped $150k to combine two aerobuses, constructing a 14 door behemoth.

aerobus-armyThe US Army used this one to transport officials on a base in the US Southwest. Roof bins have been added because I guess there wasn’t enough room?

Is the Volvo Wagon Dead?

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According to a memo leaked to Jalopnik, the Volvo V70 will not be offered in North America after 2010. And while the V50 will still be available, its time may be numbered. That means the name “Volvo” may no longer be synonymous with “station wagon.”

I remember checking out the NY Auto show 4 or 5 years ago and being surprised that there was no V70 on display. I guess they had started the process of phasing it out back then. I was told that the XC70 was just like the V70, but, I’m sorry, it’s not. I don’t count the XC70 as a wagon, and Jalopnik agrees. However, Volvo execs feel that “the personality of the XC70 is a good fit for today’s lifestyles.” To which commenter chathamh responds:

If the current product lineup of most manufacturers was an accurate reflection of American lifestyles, most Americans would spend their free time fording creeks, hauling trailers, powering through snow drifts and traversing miles of unpaved mountain trails.

Today’s manufacturers, at least for cars in the US market, don’t understand that not everyone wants to have to choose between a vanilla mid-sized sedan and a blinged out monster truck. I’ve purchased 2 cars in my life, a 745t and my current 245. What brought me to Volvo wasn’t their “personality”. It was the fact that they made really nice station wagons, vehicles that had great carrying capacity, had a relatively low center of gravity and drove like cars. Europeans understand this. In my visits to Germany and France I’m always impressed that they had such beautiful, sleek wagons. They understand that you can increase carrying capacity without raising the vehicle sky-high, tacking on knobby tires and forcing the driver to sit upright. That’s why Volvo will still be making the V70 for the European market.

This news from Volvo goes hand-in-hand with what’s happened to Subaru’s once sexy Legacy wagon. They dropped it a few years ago in favor of the Outback, and then they converted the Outback into a bloated crossover SUV. Someone in my neighborhood just got one of these abominations and I shudder every time I walk by it. Doesn’t Subaru already litter our aesthetic landscape enough with the Tribeca? How is the Outback any different?

Jalopnik posted a heart-warming eulogy to the Volvo wagon, a historic look back at the rise and sudden fall of the iconic boxy brick. RIP.

PS. I hope to wake up tomorrow and find this was all a horrible nightmare. Or maybe I should just get a life, because I’m not in the market for a new car anyway, and I’ll probably drive my precious 245 into my grave!

Aston Martin Station Wagon

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Run, don’t walk, to Eberhard Thiesen Automobile Raritaten to pickup the sweet Roos Engineering Aston Martin Lagonda shooting break conversion. It’s a steal at only $270k. Sure, it ain’t a DB9, but with all that room in the boot you’ll be able to carry plenty of cases of Busch Light from Costco, and do it in style. Act now, supplies are limited to… one.

via Daddytypes

Twin v4?

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Great comment from the Jalopnik QOTD, “What Modern Car Will You Have to Explain to Your Kids?” I had no idea the Passat W8 engine existed. Could the same idea be applied to 2 red-blocks?

Assuming I find a woman desperate/masochistic/imbalanced/whatever enough to settle down and raise a family with (I think I have better chances of growing a third arm at this point.), the resultant offspring would probably be most puzzled by the Volkswagen Passat W8 Wagon.

The conversation would probably go something like this:

Kid: Daddy, what’s that car in the picture?

Me: Well sport/princess, that’s a Volkswagen Passat W8 Wagon.

Kid: What’s the W8 mean?

Me: It was basically two overlapping V4s driving a common crankshaft.

Kid: Why?

Me: So they could cram eight cylinders under the hood longitudinally and still have room for the all-wheel-drive system.

Kid: But if it was all-wheel-drive and the back was shaped like a box, why not just buy a crossover or something?

Me: Well, some people – including your old man – preferred proper station wagons because they usually handled better and got better fuel economy. Even better when they were available with manual transmissions like this.

Kid: You mean flappy paddles?

Me: No, you had to move the gear lever up or down and left and right while lifting off the gas and pressing down on the clutch pedal to change gear.

Kid: Wow, driving one of those must have been a lot of work. Good thing the government outlawed cars that can’t drive themselves.

Me: Go to your room.

Kid: But-

Me: DON’T “BUT” ME, YOUNG MAN/LADY, GO TO YOUR ROOM!

*Kid runs off crying*

Wife: How can you be that way to our son/daughter?

Me: I have no son/daughter…

*Chugs glass of wine*

So…wanna get freaky later?

Station Wagon as Rocket Blast

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In the wet dream of Bob Lutz, the 2010 Cadillacs are a multi-stage rocket blasting across the salt flats under the watchful eye of the NASAesque GM launch team. The new CTS Sportwagon bursts forth as the first stage in a cycle that ends with a new coupe.

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Over the Thanksgiving holiday I had the please to read Chuck Closterman’s “Eating the Dinosaur“. In it he talks of how, as a culture, we’ve come to accept the lies that the advertising media presents us, and the fact that we don’t take things literally. The media business knows this, and presents products to us with the knowledge that we don’t take them seriously. Advertisers moved from presenting their clients products factually to evoking an impression to the subconscious of how a consumer will feel when they buy their product. We’re at a point now where we know it’s all lies, so advertisers can just present any hyperbolic scenario and know that we won’t think they’re presenting truth; it’s just stuff that looks cool blowing up! Therefore, we get a 264hp V6 station wagon being compared to a rocket burning hundreds of gallons of fuel each second to achieve earth orbit.

BONUS: The first few seconds of this Cadillac ad show a woman grinning as she drives a new SRX. I was pleasantly surprised to recognize Paula Merritt, a woman I knew briefly a couple years ago through a friend in Brooklyn. She used to play drums for Grandma’s Boy (now Bad Girlfriend) before moving to LA to further her modeling career. Looks like she’s doing well. Way to go Paula!